Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What symptoms did you notice before being diagnosed with cancer?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why am I not attracted to masculine men? Why do I like more feminine attributes on a man?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why does my sister want to have sex with me? What should I do?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What is your review of House of the Dragon Season 2 finale, Episode 8?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How do people who are deaf learn sign language? Is it typically taught by parents at a young age or are there programs available for learning it later in life?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why am I dreaming of people I've never seen before?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

How do I get my body in shape?

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What is the most heartbreaking thing your child has told you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have a reading level above third grade

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I see through liars

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write